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5 Keys to Turnaround a sexless Marriage.

  1. Vision
  2. Knowledge
  3. Guidance and Support
  4. Communication
  5. Faith

 

All marriages experience times of unhappiness. We marry with high hopes and expectations for our lives together. We believe that we have found our perfect soul mate and that life will be smooth sailing from now on. However, even the best laid plans can go awry. Eventually the reality of working, raising a family, stress, pressure, and the myriad of problems that life throws at all of us will take their toll.

That fairy tale marriage that we all dreamed of comes crashing down, and we become mired in the reality of just surviving day to day. The typical marriage today revolves around the work day, parental duties, an occasional night out (while worrying about the cost and the kids) and many, many hours of meaningless evenings in front of the television.

It is a real challenge for couples to keep the marital bond strong and connected with so many different forces pulling us in different directions. For far too many of us, the gap between husband and wife becomes so great that we start to question our love for one another. It just does not feel like the kind of loving marriage that we expected to have.

Passion and sex are two of the most common casualties in the grind of daily life. Over the years intimacy begins to fall further and further down the priority list as other demands pile up. Even if one spouse is still keen to feel that deep sexual connection, the other spouse may find it harder and harder to relax into desire.

On the other hand, one spouse may be keen to connect emotionally with their partner, but they just cannot seem to get past the never ending list of other demands that need to be attended to first. We know in our hearts that we care for our spouse, we don’t want to hurt each other, but we can’t seem to fulfill each other’s happiness. We have no idea how to find the closeness we once had, reverse the negative patterns that we have slipped into, and find a way to move forward and be happy with each other again.

Many people stuck in an intimacy rut will try to break out of it through professional counseling, or by reading a ton of marriage books. These sources are often helpful in some ways, but they always seem to miss the mark. They point out some great theories, but often do not provide practical, meaningful, strategies to accomplish a real turnaround. For example, we have all heard the advice to communicate, (it’s even listed here as #4) that’s easy enough to say, but very few sources will give you actual instructions on how to communicate in a way that works. It is kind of like telling you to eat a healthy diet. What does healthy mean? What is good communication?

The products I promote are a series of materials that gives you down to earth, step by step methods to not only turnaround a seemingly hopeless marriage, but make it better than you may have ever thought possible. This program does not simply repeat all of the same empty advice that you have already heard. It does not just cite the same psychobabble advice that you have collected from others. Instead, this program provides you practical tools and instructions that you can use in your everyday married life.

As an example of what I mean, I would like to share with you my version of the “5 keys to a marriage turnaround”. These are just a small sample of the many things that I have learned through these materials.

Vision (#1)

Before you can turnaround your marriage, you must first have a clear vision of what you feel a happy marriage is. Simply saying “I want to be happy” will not get you where you want to be.

These materials will help you create that vision through the experience of the author and hundreds of couples that have learned what’s required to re-connect and hold their loving bond through a shared vision of mutual happiness.

Knowledge (#2)

We have all heard the saying that “knowledge is power”. To repair a damaged marriage you need the knowledge that will allow you to achieve long lasting results. Again, we all know couples that have attended marriage counseling and were fed the usual advice to “have a date night and communicate”. They followed this advice and still ended up unhappy and divorced.

To turnaround an unhappy marriage requires a solid step by step plan. We need to know what to do, what not to do, what to say and how to say it, what not to say and why not to say it. What inspires a spouse, what shuts a spouse down? We need to know when to compromise, and when to stand our ground. We need to understand what makes a spouse close down, and how to open a spouse up again.

These are the kind of things that make a real impact in a marriage. These are the things that allow real change and growth to occur. This is the knowledge that most sources allude to, or briefly skim over, but never properly explain.

This is exactly the kind of power knowledge you will find in these materials. This is the detailed knowledge that will allow your marriage to thrive, develop a long lasting love bond, and become the “fairy tale” marriage that we all desire.

Guidance and Support

The typical married couple that finds themselves in trouble will first turn to family and friends for support and advice. The drawback to this approach is that although your loved ones truly wish to help, they just do not have the experience and knowledge to really make an impact. They offer what support they can, but in many situations they simply do not know what to do. After several months or years of watching you churn in unhappiness, even your loyal friends and family become numb to your situation and begin looking for a way that all of you can get out of this frustrating situation. They may eventually suggest that you just leave the marriage.

Clearly if that were what we wanted, we did not need their advice to begin with. As their support wears thin, we are left with nothing to help guide us through an extremely difficult situation.

One of the most important and beneficial tools of this program is an on line forum where you will be involved with the author and many other people that have been through this situation. They offer guidance, support, and mentoring based on real life experience. They have gone through this program and understand the ups and downs that you will experience as you work at turning your marriage around. The guidance and support of people that have, and are going through the process with you is priceless. It may be the difference between success and failure. For my own experience, the friendships and support that I found in this forum was a tremendous boost to my success. In fact, I can honestly say that without the mentoring and guidance of the author and members, I would have given up on my marriage and missed out on the “fairy tale” marriage I now share with my wife.

Communication (#4)

As I stated above, most of us have heard the advice to communicate more with our spouse. It seems to me that it is rare to find a couple that does not communicate. However it is common to find couples that communicate in all the wrong ways. Belittling, criticizing, complaining, getting angry, and yelling at each other and their children. They are too full of fears and insecurities to be open about what they truly want and need for themselves and each other. They are so consumed by life’s stresses and by never finding the time to simply relax, that they have forgotten how to sit down and just talk to each other, let alone look each other in the eyes with a try to form a deep connection.

 Think back to the beginning of your courtship with your spouse, do you recall when you could fire up each other’s passions without saying a word? You could be at a party separated by a dozen people, look across the room at each other, see a twinkle in each other’s eyes, a small slanted smile, and the heat could be felt in each of you. By the time you got home, there was no asking each other if you were in the mood. There were no excuses. There was no reason for words at all. It was fantastic, sexy, passionate, and extremely enjoyable. How many of us let that slip away? A better question is why did we let it slip away? To me, communication is the answer.

Of course, communication goes far beyond words. It is not simply about knowing what is going on inside of each other’s heads. It is also about simply paying attention to each other. It is about feeling each other out, and learning how to anticipate what the other person wants and needs form the relationship.

One of the major themes of this program is learning how to hear what your spouse is saying in both their words, and their actions. It also teaches you about the basic things that all men and women want and need from relationships so that your spouse will not have to spell it all out for you. This program will teach you to read your spouse in new ways, and to better and communicate your own desires back to them. It does not just teach communication skills, it teaches you how to connect.

Faith (#5)

The last point that I would like to highlight here is faith. You may be expecting me to say that this program will rebuild your faith in marriage and in the idea that it can all work out. To a large extent, this is true. However, the faith that I am talking about here is faith in yourself, your wife.

An unhappy marriage situation can really undermine a person’s sense of self-worth and value. After enduring months, or even years, of life with a spouse who neglects your physical and emotional needs, it can be hard to keep a positive outlook on life. You may start to believe that maybe this is what life is going to be. Perhaps you are just not good enough, desirable enough, sexy enough or valuable enough to be worth loving.

This program will destroy all of those negative and self-defeating attitudes. This program will help you to see that you are worthy of love, and that you do deserve to have your sexual and emotional needs met. Your spouse deserves it too. This program will show you how to lead yourself, and your spouse to a marriage in which you can both thrive, you can both have your needs met, and you can both be happy.

It is by rebuilding your faith in yourself and your partner that this program will rebuild your faith in marriage, and in life. Even if your current marriage proves to be beyond saving, you will carry these lessons with you into other relationships and other areas of your life. This program builds better people. It builds people who believe in themselves.

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